Crossing Paths: A Girl, Interrupted Story
by Lifer-Like-Me1980
Summary: Five years after Susanna is released from Claymoore, she begins picking up a normal life. All She wants now is to cross paths with the people who had touched her lives before. Bad Summary! R&R! Lisanna
1. Chapter 1: Meet Me in the Middle

A/N: I couldn't remember Susanna's boyfriend's name, (I couldn't remember if it was Tony or Toby, so if you review please put in the name if you know!)

Crossing Paths: A Girl, Interrupted Story

Chapter One: Meet Me in the Middle

It had been five lonely years since Susanna had been released from Claymoore. Nothing much had changed. Only her friends. Still, she felt no one could replace her old ones, and it was true.

Every morning as shewas unlocking the doors to the bookstore she had been working at, she would mull over each and every one of them- Of the people who had touchd her life back at Claymoore. She had seen most of them since. She had seen Polly and Janet both. She almost missed the place. Susanna had never been the kind of person who survived off of knowing she was crazy, in fact, she wasn't even sure that that was true. What is crazy anyway? But more of what she missed was the community. The family that she had formed there. The bond that was closer than a _real_ family. It was something that had stayed with her all these years. She missed Lisa. Lisa. The one person who hadn't found her in all these years. The person, Susanna knew deep down, would never escape.

So, Susanna woke up one morning and went through her natural routine. She got dressed, fed Ruby. (Polly had given her back after she formed an allergy to her) and left for work, where she had the responsibility of getting there early to unlock, and staying late to lock up. And every day as she fumbled with the keys, hugging herself to keep warm from the cool morning air, she wondered the same thing. _Will I ever see her?_

So this morning, like any other morning, she unlocked the doors before sunrise. She walked to the back desk, next to the register, and she sat down and wrote in her journal. She was writing her first book. She already knew it was going to be published, but she didn't know why she knew.

She had been writing for nearly ten minutes when thee sound of the opening door and the_ ding_ that signaled the entrance of a customer interrupted her t

thoughts. She didn't look up at first. She stayed hunched over her papers, scribbling furiously on her notepad, but at the sound of the persons voice, she came too, and startled, looked up.

"Hey Suzie Q!" Came the familiar voice. "I was beginning to think I'd never see you again!"

Susanna had to think for a second. She had so much to take in. It was Lisa! "Lisa! Hey- I-." she cut herself off, embracing her friend.

"Hey! I missed you." Lisa said, sounding completely adaptive, off the bat. Susanna was so proud of her, just by looking at her, she could already see a world of difference.

Lisa sat down in Susanna's office chair and spun around in it.

"God, how have you been?" She asked, blonde hair chasing her frail body as the chair spun around and around.

"Great. I- I've been great." Susanna replied. "What about you? How long have you been-?"

"Um they let me out about two years ago. When I found out I was pregnant." Lisa said, stopping the movement of the chair and looking cautiously at Susanna. She felt the intensity of a thousand knives baring down on her at the touch of Susanna's stare.

"Oh. Oh- That's- That's great Lisa!" Susanna forced. She was so scared of how to react. She didn't want to be happy if Lisa was sad about it, and she didn't want to be sad about it if Lisa was happy.

"Um yeah. Little girl. Susan Abigail. Abby." Lisa replied further. She felt ashamed, and she hated that part of herself. The part of her that was _ashamed_ of being a mother. She felt like she wasn't good enough. Maybe she was right. "But- But what about you. Are you still with whats-his-face?"

"Tony. We broke up two weeks go." Susanna replied, still concentrating on Lisa's daughter's name. The Susan was after her, she knew it immediately and it touched her.

"Oh. Oh- I'm sorry." Lisa replied, cautiously, mentally kicking herself._ Good job, Lisa, you broke her heart about her boyfriend all over again. Shut up! Keep the conversation light! It's been five years!_

"It was over before it started. We were just hurting eachother by staying together." Susanna explained. "So tell me about you? What have you been doing? It's been forever!"

"Uh- I…" Lisa began. She was trying so hard to stay off of those hard core subjects. Susanna took notice that Lisa appeared to be surpressing tears. Her lips puckered together, forming a circle around her mouth, outlines of pink painted her face and she closed her eyes to hide the tears. "Well, they're taking Abby away from me." She managed at last, voice highlighted with shakiness.

"What? Why?" Susanna asked.

"I uh- I was 'unfit'." She replied. "In other words, I couldn't afford her, or my house or my car or school, or daycare…" She finished, stabling herself.

"Oh my God! How could they-." She started.

"I'm uh- I'm going back to Claymoore, Suzie." Lisa said tearfully.

"What?" Susanna begged. "That's absurd! Why?"

"It's the only place I can go right now." She replied.

"No, no." Susanna said, shaking her head in denial. She never could have imagined Lisa leading this life. She just assumed she would have never gotten out to begin with.

"Yeah." Lisa said, but it came out as a whisper. She began to choke on her own pain, but she forced herself to regain composure.

"Why- Why don't you stay with me? Tony's moved out. You can even bring Abby!" Susanna suggested. Lisa looked at her in ridicule. She knew right away this was a bad idea.

"No, Susanna. I don't think that's a-." Lisa began to protest, but her words were cut off.

"I insist. Please Lisa." Susanna said, blinking back tears. She couldn't stand to see Lisa or even little Abby this way. She would do _anything_ to fix it.

"Susanna, it's _me_ and a _one year old kid._" Lisa almost scolded. "It's not a good idea."

Susanna stared at Lisa. Lisa stared at Susanna. Both girls' eyes narrowed with venom. Lisa rose from her seat.

"I should probably go." She said, turning and walking to the door.

"No, Lisa, wait." Susanna protested. Lisa's hand dropped from the door and she walked back over to Susanna.

"Are..You.. Sure?" She asked, forcing the tears away from her eyes.

"Yes, Lisa." Susanna replied.

"I'll stay with you a week, then we can talk about where we go from there." Lisa agreed, and then proceeded to leave.


	2. Chapter 2: The Fear You Won't Fall

A/N: Sorry! It was Toby.This chaoter is pretty uneventful. I swear I know where this is going, just hang in there! It will pick up. BEWARE OF FEMSLASH.

Chapter Two: The Fear You Won't Fall

Disclaimer: "The Fear You Won't Fall" was borrowed from the lovely Joshua Radin song, it is not my title. Obviously, neither is Girl, Interrupted. ;)

Susanna woke up late the following Saturday. In fact, she never would have woken up at all if it weren't for the startling tapping at the door. When she awoke, a fog of delusion came over her. She stumbled to the door and opened it, exposing Lisa and who she automatically assumed was Baby Abby.

"Hey." She said groggily. "Come in. Is this Abby?"

"Yeah this is Abby." Lisa said playfully, tickling her daughter's cheek. Susanna stood back and admired the two. Abby looked just like her mother. Her blonde pigtails matched the exact tone of Lisa's straight hair. Her eyes had the same magnitude. Her lips were already seductive and full. She was going to be a heart breaker when she grew up, Susanna could already tell.

"She's beautiful, Lisa!" Susanna exclaimed after admiring her for a while.

"Thanks." Lisa said, flashing that seductive smile. Susanna's heart raced. It had been so long since she had seen that beautiful smile. Too long. It had always helped get her through the day before.

"Here, this can be Abby's room, unless you want to share a room with her." Susanna said motioning to one of the rooms. The three room apartment she was living in was stylish and spacious enough for the three of them easily.

"Oh we can just share a room. You know… In case you need that one for someone or something else." Lisa insisted, setting the baby down on the floor. "Go play, Abby."

Abby scampered off, showing no sign of fear or shyness. Susanna motioned for Lisa to sit down at the table and chat with her.

"I'm so tired." Susanna said. "I don't understand. I've never felt this drained before."

"Ha. You're pregnant." Lisa concluded.

"Not a chance." Susanna replied sharply. That would be the least likely conclusion and it would NOT be good if she were. But she wasn't.

"Sorry." Lisa replied quietly. Susanna felt a pang of guilt. Five years ago, Lisa would have been the sharp one and Susanna would have been apologizing for everything. What was wrong now? Was Susanna sane or was it Lisa? Was Lisa overly submissive or was Susanna harsh. Maybe Susanna was just afraid to get close to Lisa again.

"I-uh… Sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me." Susanna replied in something of a trance.

"It's okay." Lisa replied. "Have I changed, Suzie Q?" Lisa asked. She seemed distant, Susanna couldn't put her finger on it, but she didn't seem healthy.

"Yeah. Yeah, you have, Lisa." Susanna replied. "But you had to."

"Am I boring?" Lisa asked.

"Never!" Susanna replied instantly. "You have _never_ been boring, Lisa Rowe."

Lisa smiled. "Yeah. I guess not."

"Remember the time we went to that party and you hooked me up with the guy who was like totally tripping acid the whole time-?" Susanna started, but Lisa finished her sentence.

"And he asked you about purple people!" She shouted with a laugh.

Susanna noticed Lisa's sleeves come up a little, then a little more. Lisa was talking about something, but Susanna wouldn't have been able to repeat a word of it. Her thoughts were on Lisa's arm.

"Lisa, what happened?" She asked, pointing to her arm.

Lisa looked frantically around for a split second, then quickly regained her cool, but stayed silent for a while. "Look, Suzie I-." She started.

"Are they trail marks, Lisa?" She asked.

"No. No. They aren't. They're… just…" Lisa's voice trailed off. "Im clean. I swear."

Susanna squinted and shook her head. She didn't want to believe this. Lisa's motto had always been "I'm high on life!" But now… She was a different person.

"Look, It doesn't matter." Susanna replied after giving it a few seconds of thought.

"Yes. Yes it does matter." Lisa almost shouting. THIS was the old Lisa. Susanna surpressed a smile.

"I wasn't accusing you." Susanna replied, upfront.

" _Bull Shit,_ Susanna." Lisa replied.

"No, I'm telling the truth." Susanna replied. "I just asked you because- because I love you and because I missed you. I just want to be sure you and Abby are okay."

"You didn't miss me! You didn't even think about me!" Lisa replied.

"Wanna bet?" Susanna asked defiantly. She was no longer afraid of Lisa's cold side. Now she understood it. She knew it like the back of her hand now. "You were the _only_ person I really wondered about every day of my life since I left. The _only_ reason I didn't go back to visit you is that I was afraid of going back. I was afraid that I would need you again. I didn't want to need anyone. I didn't want to depend on you. I thought if I saw you, it would hurt, but it hurt a lot worse to miss you!" Susanna cried.

Lisa looked at Susanna tentatively. The venom in her eyes disappeared. Something new filled them, concern, pride, inspiration. Her entire demeanor changed. "Do you mean that?" She asked plainly.

"Of course." Susanna replied.

Lisa scooted closer to Susanna, face inches away from her's. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of feeling Susanna breathing so close to her. She lowered her lips to level Susanna's and leaned in. Susanna's eyes fluttered closed nervously. At long last, Lisa pressed her full, luscious lips against Susanna's. They had kissed only once before, while they were intoxicated in a hippy van on the way to an underground party. They both still loved that memory… The whole night was great.

"Mama." Abby shouted from the next room. Lisa pulled away and laughed a little. Susanna smiled as well as her eyes opened.

"I better get that." Lisa said.

Susanna nodded her head and kept her eyes glued on Lisa as she tended to the toddler's needs.

Something inside her was scared. Something inside her… something nagging… just made her worry. Was she afraid of where this was going? Was she afraid of what Lisa had been doing to herself? Or was she afraid of herself? Afraid that at the moment Lisa and everyone else she cared about fell, she wouldn't. It didn't make sense, but it was defiantly the correct one.


	3. Chapter 3: Nothing We Can't Change

A/N: This story get's on the graphic side. Please use reader discretion, there is implied sexuality in this chapter.

Chapter Three: Much To Do About Nothing

Susanna woke up on day three. She walked to the kitchen table where Abby and Lisa were already sitting.

"Mornin'." Lisa said playfully. "She had me up all night."

"Is that so?" Susanna asked, cupping Abby's little cheek in her hands, then yanking them away, noticing what she was doing. _That is not your child._ She told herself.

"What's up with you, jumpy?" Lisa asked, pouring some cereal onto a plate for finger food.

"Nothing." Susanna replied quickly. "I was at the hospital all night, is all." She replied.

Lisa's eyes narrowed with confusion and concern.

"What? Susanna, you went to the hossy and you didn't wake me up?" She scolded.

"You had just gotten the baby to sleep and I didn't want to disturb you. Besides it was nothing. They ran tests on me all night and didn't find anything."

"My God. Susanna, don't you _ever_ do that again. WAKE ME UP!" Lisa commanded. Susanna pretended to shrink back. Pretended to submit.

"I'm _fine_, Lisa." Susanna insisted, getting a bottle of water out of the fridge and exiting the room. Lisa couldn't accept this. There was just to much uncovered ground for Susanna to leave like that.

"Wait a minute." Lisa called after her, leaving Abby alone in the kitchen.

"What, Lisa? What? Are you gonna tell me you worry about me? I'm a big girl." Susanna shouted back. Lisa's face was fogged over with venom.

"Susanna, you _know_ I was just looking after you." Lisa replied. Susanna put her hand on her forehead and released an audible sigh.

"Look what you did, Lisa. You left the baby all by herself in the kitchen with the knives and the oven and all kinds of dangerous things." Susanna scolded.

"Are you calling me a bad mother? Because that sure as hell doesn't have anything to do with you, right? You didn't make me come in here."

"I _didn't_, Lisa." Susanna replied.

"I'm a good mother, Susanna." Lisa yelled.

"Then why are we-?" Susanna started, but finally walked into the kitchen and picked the baby up _herself_. She was truly pissed off at Lisa.

"I can feed my _own_ fucking kid!" Lisa shouted.

"Then FEED her!" Susanna replied.

"Fine!" Lisa shouted.

"Fine." Susanna returned.

Lisa snatched Abby out of Susanna's arms and shoveled handfuls of cereal into the poor baby's mouth.

"Lisa, I don't want to fight about this. I'm sorry I scared you." Susanna admitted.

Lisa continued feeding Abby silently, glancing angrily over at Susanna at random intervals.

"Lisa, stop!" Susanna demanded. "This isn't fair to any of us!"

"What's not fair is that you scared the shit out of me Susanna!" Lisa replied, without even looking up at her.

"Admit it, Lisa. You weren't really afraid for me. You just needed to argue. You needed to blow steam about other things that were bothering you." Susanna concluded.

"What? No!" Lisa replied. "You don't know what I was thinking, Susanna."

"Yeah, right Lis, but it was pretty close, huh?" Susanna replied angrily.

"No. I didn't want to lose you, Susanna. If you cared about me the way I cared about you, you would have told me you needed to go to the hospital." Lisa replied, tearfully.

"I didn't tell you _because_ I cared about you." Susanna replied. Lisa looked up at her with the same change in demeanor that she had had a few nights ago. Susanna gently kissed her and then pulled away, remembering she was in front of Abby and not knowing how Lisa felt about their relationship. Lisa immediately covered Susanna's lips again. Lisa put the baby on the floor, completely forgetting she was even there and pulled Susanna onto the couch. She continued to kiss her, lips parting only long enough for her to say : "I love you, Suzie Q"

And for Susanna to reply: "I love you, too." And both of their stomachs filled with butterflies.

After a few moments, the two were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Susanna sprung up and answered it.

"Hello…Yes, this is she… Yeah… No…What?...That Can't be? Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?... Do you know how-… Oh…Umm okay. Thanks for letting me know." Susanna said and then hung up the phone. Lisa automatically knew something was wrong by the look in her eyes.

"Shit." Susanna said.

"What's wrong, baby?" Lisa asked.

"It was- It was the doctor." Susanna replied tearfully. Lisa's eyes widened with fear.

"Oh my God! Are you okay? What's wrong?" She begged, embracing Susanna.

"Im… Im pregnant." Susanna replied sullenly. "And Im already into the second trimester." At this point both were crying.


	4. Chapter 4: Stay With Me

A/N: This is a quicky chap! Enjoy!

Chapter Four: Stay With Me

Susanna walked alone down the empty city streets on her way home from work. She had been up all night, practically stir crazy at the mere idea that she- that she- she couldn't even _think_ the word.

"Pregnant." She whispered to herself as she opened the door to her apartment. "I'm pregnant."

"I know." Lisa replied, again flashing her seductive smile as she met Susanna at the door.

"I'm uh- Trying to accept it." Susanna said as she entered the apartment, kissing Lisa and the baby on their cheeks.

Lisa began telling Susanna about her day. About what the baby had done. Susanna tried to listen, but her mind began to wander. Images raced through her head. What was the baby going to be? Where was the nursery going to be? Was Lisa still going to be part of the picture?_ I hope so._

She began to think of what Lisa had said five days ago. She had told Susana she could only stay for one week. Susanna's stomach churned when she remembered Lisa's commitment, or lack thereof.

"… So then I gave her apple juice and she nearly choked on it, poor thing. She spent most of the day sick. She was like… hung over or something. She woke up screaming from her nap and…" Lisa was going on and on about something about Abby, but Susanna had no information to deduce anything from it. "Susanna! Susanna, hey! Are you okay? Are you listening to me?"

"Sorry. I was- distracted." Susanna replied. "What were you saying?"

Lisa picked back up, all the while rocking the sleeping toddler in her arms. "Susanna, what's going on, babe?"

Susanna shook her head, snapping out of her musings. "Im sorry, Lis." Susanna replied. "Um you know, I was just thinking and…"

"And…?" Lisa continued for her, helping Susanna out of her confusion.

"And I thought maybe you would… stay…with me. Here." Susanna finished awkwardly, immediately kicking herself for proposing such a thing. Lisa had been very clear that she could only spend a week with her.

"Aw, you know what, Suze, I would love to, but I just don't know if that's a good idea." Lisa said, voice dry from the hard day. Susanna closed her eyes, hiding the pain and lingering on the sound of her voice. The wonderful sound of her voice.

"Um… I could use some company. You know, in my condition." Susanna replied casually.

"What condition? Susanna, you're pregnant." Lisa replied with a smile.

Again, Susanna lingered on her sultry voice.

"If every word I said could make you laugh, I'd talk for ever." Lisa said.

Susanna's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?" She asked softly, trying not to talk to suddenly and break the romance of the atmosphere in the room.

"It's a song." Lisa replied.

"Oh. I like that." Susanna replied. She had to remind herself to think clearly. Lisa was trying to distract her. Trying to ease the pain. This simply wouldn't do for Susanna. She needed an answer. "But listen, Lisa. I…need…you." Susanna said at last, biting her toungue and regretting those words.

"I need you too, Susanna." Lisa replied.

"Then stay with me." Susanna begged, taking one of Lisa's frail hands in her own.

"I don't know, Suzie- Q." Lisa said. Susanna loved the way Lisa called her that. "I'm not good for you."

"What?" Susanna asked. "What makes you say that?"

"Because… I don't know. I think we both know Im not a good person, Susanna."

"Lisa, I don't want to ever hear you say that again. You are a good person to me. You are a good mother to Abby. That is all that matters."

"Really? Don't you realize I'm messed up?" Lisa replied.

"Lisa, you are perfect."

"Are you sure you want me to stay here?" Lisa asked.

Susanna nodded. Lisa looked at her daughter and back up at Susanna and nodded in agreement. Susanna had to force herself not to shout with excitement. _Lisa's staying!_


	5. Chapter 5: An Unwelcomed Phone Call

A/N: _Hey guys, I know it's been quite a while since I last wrote. For that, I __apologize__ There is no sense in me explaining why but please believe me, I had a __reason__ This chapter is boring, uneventful, and choppy due to writer's block, but I really thought you guys who read this deserve a chapter.__Anyway, it's been over a year since I have written, so reviews would be __excellent__especially if there are any ideas of where this is going, because right now, __Im__ blocked.)__Enjoy__ (By the way, this is set three months after the last chapter.)_

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, the movie, the book, or the actual people.

Chapter Five: It Takes a Village

Susanna fumbled with the keys outside of her apartment door. The cool evening air beat against her face, sending a chill through her. She could hear Lisa and Abby piddling through the doors. When at last the key was in, and she turned it, the door flung open and Lisa stood with Abby in her arms.

"Hey Suzy-Q." Lisa said in her usual playful voice. "How was work? Shut the door it's freezing!"

Susanna shut the door and reached for Abby. "It was work, you know." Susanna replied. "But I _did_ get some writing done."

"Oh that's good." Lisa responded leading Susanna into the living room. "Can I read it?"

Susanna's eye widened and a strange fear struck her. For some reason she felt uncomfortable with Lisa reading her work.

"Not yet." Susanna replied looking at Lisa and then down at the floor which was covered with Abby's toys.

"Down." Abby said wriggling in Susanna's arms, signaling that she wanted to be put down so she could play. Susanna gently put the baby on the floor and then joined Lisa on the sofa.

"I have a doctor's appointment in three days." Susanna said. Lisa detected a pang of distress in Susanna's voice.

"It's gonna be fine." Lisa said, hugging Susanna.

"I know." Susanna replied, anxiously. "Why don't we go get something to eat?"

"Like out? What are we gonna do with Abby?" Lisa asked, grinning ear to ear at the idea of leaving the apartment. Clearly, the two weren't able to get out as much anymore, since their busy schedules overlapped so much between doctors visits, checkups for Abby, and work, the only thing they ever had time to do anymore was sleep.

"We'll take her with us, Lisa." Susanna asked with an incredulous tone in her voice. _What else would we do with her?_

"Okay let me get dressed." Lisa responded.

"Okay and I'll get Abs dressed." Susanna replied pulling some a purple dress out of the diaper bag and sliding it over the baby's head.

"Thanks." Lisa replied, reemerging from her bedroom in a different outfit and picking up the diaper bag.

"Where do you want to go?" Susanna asked as the girls hit the city sidewalks. The cold air caused their breath to be visible. Their feet crunched in the thin layer of snow that was still on the sidewalk.

"I don't know." Lisa responded. "Where do _you_want to go?"

"I want ice cream." Susanna responded with a playful smile.

"Ice cream? Its like ten degrees out here Susanna." Lisa said with a smile on her face. "But a craving is a craving."

"It's NOT a craving." Susanna replied. "Can a girl have ice cream in December without it being a _craving?_"

"Not a pregnant girl." Lisa responded playfully causing Susanna to feign hit her on the arm.

At that, the girls had approached the entrance to the ice cream parlor. They walked inside, welcomed by the heat of the room. Lisa sat down with the baby while Susanna ordered ice cream for her and Abby.

When Susanna returned to the table where Lisa and Abby were, she saw the back of a girl standing beside the table talking to Lisa. When she came closer to the table, she realized it was Janet, who was looking surprisingly healthy, and even held an ice cream in her hands.

"Janet. Hey!" Susanna said hugging her old friend, careful not to spill the ice cream on her. "You look great!"

"Thank you." Janet replied. "So do you. How far along are you?"

"Thirty weeks." Susanna answered forcing a smile to her face.

"That's great. Congratulations." Janet said hugging her friend and then leaving.

Susanna sat down and looked at Lisa. "Weird." She said, licking her ice cream cone and helping Abby eat her's.

"I know right? She's tiny. I don't know how they let her out…" Lisa said rolling her eyes.

The girls finished their ice cream cones and set off in the direction of Susanna's apartment. As soon as they reached her apartment, they were greeted by the sound of the phone ringing.

"I'll get it." Lisa said running to the phone. Susanna sat down on the sofa and stared at Lisa as she answered.

"Hello?... What?...No… Yeah just a minute… Wait, who is this… Um… okay." Lisa said. Her smile immediately left her face and she handed the phone to Susanna. "It's Toby." Lisa whispered.

Susanna felt anxiety coursing through her as she took the phone from Lisa's hands and answered it…


	6. Chapter 6: Confrontation

A/N: Thanks for the encouraging review, hell! This chapter is just for you. By the way, I need help deciding baby names and the gender so suggestions are appreciated!

Chapter Six

Confrontation

Susanna hung up the phone shaking. "Shit. Shit. Shit." Susanna exclaimed as she walked over to the couch and sat down, rubbing her temples and moaning.

"What? What did he say?" Lisa asked, looking both worried and pissed.

"He wants to talk to me in person." Susanna explained. Lisa smiled.

"Can I come?" She asked, almost giddy. Lisa couldn't wait to give him hell about the way he treated Susanna.

"Well yeah of course. One problem. He still doesn't know I'm pregnant!" Susanna nearly shouted. When she realized that Lisa looked upset, she changed her tone and covered one of Lisa's hands with her own. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little scared is all. I mean… For one, he hates kids. But how will he react and what if he's mad at me for not telling him yet and… What if-?"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Susanna. Geeze. Calm down. If he's mad at you, he's a douchebag. Afterall, he left, right? He up and left, leaving you know way to contact him. He can't be mad at you. It's his damn fault. And its his fault your in this position anyway."

Although it may not have made perfect sense, it immediately allayed Susanna's fears.

Two weeks later, Susanna and Lisa met up with Toby and Susanna's bookstore. They decided to get coffee from the coffee shop next door. Lisa pushed open the door to Lucy's Coffee Shop and the smell of warm vanilla and coffee beans filled her senses. She let Susanna and Toby sit down and talk while she ordered coffee for the tree of them. When she turned to rejoin the group she saw a look on Susanna's face that made her heart jump. It was a look that was a mix between hurt, angry and anxious to leave. Lisa sat down beside Susanna and put an arm around her.

"I know we weren't exactly happy anymore, but you were cheating on me?" She exclaimed indignantly. Lisa's eyes shot open and she graced Toby with a judgmental, horrified look.

"Susanna, I told you. You deserved it. You were always working and…You're obviously not the kind of girlfriend I needed anyway. I mean, you didn't even tell me you were pregnant." Toby shouted, causing Susanna to shrink back in her seat like a child, half in embarrassment because he was publicly shouting at her and half in shame because what he said was true.

"Hey!" Lisa shouted, cutting off the arguing between Susanna and Toby. "Leave her alone, man. Maybe she would have paid more attention to you if you were better to her."

Toby looked enraged. "Who the hell are you to have anything to do with this conversation?! You're a nutcase Susanna met in a mental hospital she didn't even need to be with."

"You know what?" Lisa shouted. "Me and Susanna are closer than the two of you ever were because I treat her right. That's who I am to be in this. I'm fucking defending someone I care about. I'm doing something nice for her. Maybe if you'd done more of that she would have fucked you more often you dumb two-timing prick!"

Susanna smiled, but Toby was furious. "Um… Toby," Susanna started shyly when she could see that Lisa's outburst was over. "I was just going to let you know, I'm due in eight weeks if you want-."

"I don't want anything to do with your kid. I don't even believe its mine! We barely even held hands for the last two months we dated, Susanna." Toby cut Susanna off. "Besides, Carol is pregnant. That baby _is_ mine."

Susanna fought tears. He had already gotten someone else pregnant? He had just left Susanna a few months ago. "Toby, I am sorry I never told you that I'm pregnant. I had no idea how. I didn't know how to contact you or if you would even care. Obviously it was a good thing because you don't want anything to do with the baby-who, by the way, I swear is yours. But I guess… I don't really understand why you wanted to talk to me."

"To explain why I left." Toby responded calmly.

Lisa listened intently to the interaction between the two. Every time Toby would say something unkind to Susanna, Lisa felt a hot rush of anger course through her body. Every time Susanna shrunk back and submitted to Toby's anger, a cold rush of pain hit Lisa like a thousand ice-cold knives stabbing Lisa all over her. But when Susanna protested Toby's right to be angry, a triumphant smile threatened to display itself.

"Susanna, all you did was work. We hardly ever had sex. When you were home (which was almost never) all you did was write in that stupid journal of yours about how you missed your lesbo friends from that crazy house you stayed in. I mean, come on Susanna. Five years later and that… _place_ still runs your life! Then I met Carol. One day when you and me were supposed to meet at Bryan's and you never showed up and… there she was and she wanted me. She _wanted _me." He explained calmly but at the first mention of Carol, is voice was struck with passion.

"I wanted you too." She replied. "And I was actually with you."

"But you weren't with me, Suse. You weren't. I don't know what planet you were living on but you weren't with me anymore. She wanted me. Not a memory. Not an idea of a stupid place she once lived in. Not the past. Not her crazy ex-friends. She wanted me."

"Well I guess she finally got you then." Susanna said, rising to her feet, gathering her bag and signaling with just a glance that it was time to leave to Lisa. Lisa quickly sprang to her feet, flicked Toby off and followed Susanna out.

When Susanna and Lisa returned to the apartment, the found the babysitter watching TV in the living room.

"Hey Ashley. Thanks. You can go." Susanna said tossing some money apathetically over to the young woman. She checked on Abby in her room, and to her delight, she was sleeping. Susanna returned to the kitchen and put on on a pot of coffee. Lisa joined her in the kitchen, by sitting down on one of the wooden chairs and tapping her fingers repetitively against the table.

"I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this kid, Lisa." She said, sitting down beside Lisa with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Why, Suze?" Lisa responded, voice distraught with concern.

"Because… You know. Doing this… alone…" Susanna trailed off.

Lisa looked at her in disbelief. Susanna was sure she had insulted Lisa. Afterall, Lisa had done it alone for a year.

"Well I mean… I didn't really realize you were going to be doing it alone." Lisa stammered.

Susanna wasn't sure if she quite understood where Lisa was coming from. "Toby left. He doesn't want this baby. Let's faceit: I'm not cut out to be a single parent." Susanna decided out loud.

"Single parent?" Lisa said. Although they had never declared a relationship out loud, Lisa had always considered her and Susanna as a couple. Her heart was slowly breaking at the idea that Susanna didn't think of it the same.

"Well yeah… I mean… You know. Toby's gone. This baby will have no father." Susanna explained.

"Well I mean…" Lisa searched carefully for a good way to word it. "You help me out with Abby. And I thought maybe- I mean don't get me wrong, it's your choice- but I thought maybe… I could help with your baby. You know like… to be honest, I consider you Abby's other parent. Don't you feel that way?"

Susanna was touched. She had never heard Lisa call her Abby's other mom. "I love her like mine." Susanna responded assuredly. "I just… You know. What if you… say like move away or something. Start dating someone or… you-?"

Lisa cut Susanna off. "Susanna, there's only one person I really want to be with."

"So what if you leave me for him?"

"I can't. Because you are that person." She replied. Susanna was taken aback at how tenderly and sweetly Lisa was talking. "It's up to you. I hope I'm not making things awkward."

"Lisa, is that true?" Susanna asked. Lisa nodded.

"I just thought- all those times we kissed, we held hands, we talked sweetly to eachother, I guess I thought you were playing." Susanna explained. Her stomach was churning, but in the best possible way. She could barely keep from grinning like an idiot. Lisa really was in love with Susanna.

"Susanna! I love you! I'm in love with you. All this time I thought you knew! I thought… Susanna, I want to be there for you. And for the baby if you decide to keep it. I love living with you!"

Tears begun to well up in Susanna's eyes. "What if the baby gets close to you and we… break up?" Susanna asked.

"We wouldn't. At least not by my choice. But I would still want to be in the baby's life. I'd expect you to be in Abby's. " Lisa said.

"Is that a commitment?" Susanna asked, eyes lit like a christmas tree.

"Of course." Lisa replied.


End file.
